


who wants to sleep in a city that never wake up

by duaa



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: College AU, Hurt/Comfort, Logan centric angst, M/M, Overworking, touch starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: Logan Croft was a model student, valedictorian, teacher's pet, a prodigy. His grades were impeccable and flawless. He had what other students craved, effortlessly getting straight As.Logan Croft stayed up all night before every exam, cried and then finished writing his equations. He burned the wick at both ends, trying his best to live upto expectations. He seemed to be close to failing now.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707997
Comments: 18
Kudos: 190
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	who wants to sleep in a city that never wake up

**Author's Note:**

> whoo!!

Logan stared at screen in front of him, numbers and letters dancing in front of his eyes, his vision swimming. He blinked hard, wincing at the icy sting. He had been staring at the screen for way too long, eyes wide open, hunched over. There was nothing here but him, his essay and the grade he wanted. Straight As didn’t come from being a smartass or from reading ahead in lectures. He needed to put in the work, the effort. This essay had to be perfect, had to get him the perfect grade. He would get back to it, he just needed the world to stop spinning for a while. Even a minute would be fine.

Taking off his glasses, he rubbed at his eyes. His coffee had long gone cold, a stagnant brown. Rubbing at his temples, he tried to remember what his professor had said while assigning the essay. All he could think of was how is professor seemed to think Logan would have no trouble with it at all. He knew that everyone seemed to think that he was a prodigy; he was not. He didn’t get it, why was he always held to a different standard than others? He was expected to run for valedictorian, he was expected to get straight As, expected to go to Harvard, expected to become president.

He had raised his brother all by himself, busying himself with his education and the welfare of young Thomas. Of course that meant that at the age of fifteen he was a fully capable adult. Of course his grades could not suffer, he could never take a break - but if any of his friends, peers or even teachers saw him studying...

_”Logan, why don’t you do something else, y’know broaden your horizons?”_

_“Logan, we get it, you’re smart.”_

_“Logan, grades aren’t the only things that matter.”_

The amount of absolute bullshit he heard throughout high-school was unbelievable. He had hoped that it would stop there, the expectations, the fear of letting people down. Of course not. Why would it? His friends were still the same, groaning and moaning every time he cancelled plans or said he had to study. His professors set the bar so high, Logan could barely get by - just scorching his eyebrows.

It hurt even more when he expressed these concerns, getting shut down before he could even finish. No one believed him. Not his childhood friends, not his teachers, not his dorm-mates - no one. He tried bring it up to his boyfriend, Virgil, and while he took it into account, Logan knew that Virgil didn't believe. 

And so he climbed the never-ending ladder, nose just above the water. He used to have a passion for learning, for studying. Things that were previously unknown, now privy to his mind. Once, tests would mean the opportunity to learn more, study more, to expand his knowledge. Now, he hated the looming expectations, the fear of falling if he craned his neck too far to see them. 

He ached to be seen. To be heard. To be validated. How long could he go on, how long was he supposed to pretend like everything was fine? Nothing was fine. His friends were home for Christmas and Logan was still working on his essay. 

What would it take for that cycle to break, for someone to let him be a part of the fun, for someone to consider him? 

But for now, he was Logan, human embodiment of logic - and that's all he would remain.

***

_"You have reached Logan Croft's voicemail. I am currently in class or asleep, please leave a message after the beep and I shall get back to you."_

_"Hey Lo, sorry we... sorry I missed you for New Years. And New Years Eve. I said I'd be back but... my family insisted. I miss you. I would video call you but I know that you have a schedule and you like to stick to it so... Uh, we had fun - well I dunno if you would consider it fun but, uh, we went to this theme park. It's nice. Um, very nice. I sent you a postcard, uh, figured it would reach you before I did so. You know, it makes sense. I'll be back soon, don't have too much fun with your essay! Love you, Lo."_

_"You have reached Logan Croft's voicemail. I am currently in class or asleep, please leave a message after the beep and I shall get back to you."_

_"Hi. So, you didn't call me back. Sorry if I'm annoying, I was just worried. Um, I - just call me back. Please. I hope you aren't overworking yourself. Just, know that no matter what, you'll do good in those exams. Love you. Call me."_

__

***

Logan cradled his cramping hand to his chest, softly cussing. His arms stung from where they were pressed onto the edge of his desk, thick red lines embedded in his skin. His back hurt, neck craning as he hunched over his laptop yet again. He just wanted some sleep, just wanted to close his heavy eyes and fall away into the bliss of the void. But every minute he spent not writing was a minute wasted. He needed this grade, oh god, he needed it. Every thing was riding on this essay: his grade, his friends expectation, his boyfriend's expectations - their impressions of him. He needed to get his act together or die trying (not exactly die).

Okay, he would take one singular break, a pomodoro timer to refresh his mind. Setting his head on his desk, he tried breathing deep, trying not to think about anything. 

When was the last time he saw someone? It had to be three weeks ago when his boyfriend left. Three? Four? Two? Yeah. That. When was Virgil coming back anyway, he missed him. He missed Virgil's company and his smile and the way he still wrote in pencil. He missed the way Virgil ducked his head when he smiled and how he always tasted of lemon drops. He missed...

"Logan?"

"AH!" He shot back as something hot seared through his clothes, making him inadvertently shiver. He heard a dull 'oof' and saw -

"Virgil?" What was Virgil doing here he was supposed to come home at seven and oh god was it seven already? "Wh-what's the time?" His mouth felt like cotton, heavy and numb. 

"Shh, I got an earlier flight. C'mon, let's get you to bed." Virgil grabbed his hand and the same white hot pain shot through him again, making his arm tingle. He felt lightheaded, was he _falling_? Virgil slung an arm around his shoulders, and he shivered again. He felt so cold, yet so hot. He felt like he would burst, the pressure inside him threatening to spill. Virgil pushed him gently onto the bed, making Logan whine at the loss of contact. He felt so much colder than before, hollow chest rattling with each breath. He wanted Virgil to hold him and never let go, squeeze him hard, he just wanted oh god he wanted to sleep.

Reaching out to grab Virgil's hand, he tried to ask him to stay, but his throat just wasn't working, words stuck in his mouth as he unwittingly whined, a pathetic sound. Virgil, however, seemed to understand him, pulling him close. He was saying something, but it all went in one ear and out the other. Logan closed his eyes, breathing shallow as he buried his face in Virgil's chest. He was fine, safe, he was...

***

_"You have reached Logan Croft's voicemail. I am currently in class or asleep, please leave a message after the beep and I shall get back to you."_

__

_"Sup Logan. So uh, they bumped me upto an earlier flight! Isn't that so cool? I can't wait. I'm going to make them land inside your dorm, haha. Uh, so boarding begins in a few, so yeah. Everyone wants to meet you, Dad already booked us two tickets for Easter break, so put that in your calendar. Also, this is the last time I'm ever caring about your stupid schedule, uh, schedules only exist so that your friends can force you to abandon them, you know. It... well, it sucked. Here, without you. Everywhere we went I just kept thinking about how much I missed you and how much I wanted you to be here. So yeah. Um, see you in a few hours, Lo. Love you."_

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if you see a typo! hope you like it ❤️💕


End file.
